Ouch! Looks like someone just paid the ultimate price for a Puck
Minnesota Wild’s Mats Zuccarello is out for four weeks after taking a puck to the groin in a game against the Canadiens. Yes, you read that right. A puck. To the groin. Ouch doesn’t even cover it.
NHL injuries are almost a given when you step onto the ice, especially with pucks flying around at speeds over 100 MPH. Those hard rubber missiles don’t care who or what’s in their way—they’re taking no prisoners.
Sure, players are decked out in gear that’s supposed to keep them safe, but let’s be real: there’s only so much padding can do against the unforgiving laws of physics.
It happened in the first period, and honestly, the whole thing sounded like a scene from a bad slapstick movie. Mats Zuccarello hit the ice hard, and teammates had to help him off. The damage was a ruptured testicle.
It’s the stuff nightmares are made of. Marcus Foligno, one of the Wild’s leaders, later spilled the tea on the 93X “Half-Assed Morning Show,” confirming Zuccarello went straight to the hospital for emergency surgery.
“We thought he was gonna lose one n*t, but it actually survived, and he’s got them both still,” Foligno said. Seriously, it’s the kind of good news you didn’t know you’d be relieved to hear. But here’s the kicker—his protective cup had a “massive dent.” If that doesn’t make you wince, check your pulse.
Foligno admitted that the jokes didn’t start flying until they knew Zuccarello was okay.
“Poor guy got hit where the sun don’t shine and it ruptured his testicle,” he shared, adding that Mats Zuccarello can’t even lift anything right now.
There is a silver lining, though. The team’s mood has lightened up now that they know he’ll make a full recovery. Foligno even called the dented cup “hilarious”—the ultimate “if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry” moment.
While the jokes have made their rounds, Zuccarello’s absence is no laughing matter for the Wild. Head coach John Hynes didn’t hold back his praise for the 37-year-old. “He’s an extreme competitor,” Hynes said, emphasizing Zuccarello’s importance on the power play and overall team chemistry. “When he comes back, he’s going to be back to where he is.”
So yeah, while Zuccarello’s recovery involves a whole lot of ice packs and rest, the team is counting down the days until their key winger is back on the ice—fully intact and ready to roll.
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